The wind had picked up sometime at night,and the windchill had kept me awake all night.The endless assault had numbed the extremities and I was really glad when the alarm chimed 4:15 am,time to go.Crawling out of the sleeping bag ,I started the stove to boil a cup of tea ,while getting along with closing the camp.The slow awareness of the coming dawn was signalled by the gentle dissipation of the darkness,soon the first rays peeped over the horizon ,resembling a fiery diamond on the bridal finger.The tea tasted really fine..hot and sweet for the extra energy.Munching a bar,I shouldered the rucksack and took a deep draught of the last of the tea before stuffing the mug in the webbing.

The objective was a simple peak in east sikkim,without any technical challenges,but,resplendant with an extreme slope..the aim being to acclimatize beyond 17000ft and also check my physical fitness.The local guide had put the climb at 3 hours of stiff work with full load with the real bitch being the "chattis Mor" or 36 turns section.

Dot 5 am I kicked off,the first 45 mins being very good going,the breeze playing a song,the raucous caws of the himalayan raven and a flight of cranes heading for the plains of wet bengal,,most likely the area around Hashimara.The gentle touch of the morning sun chasing away the chill of the night.

Soon the ascent to 36 turns started getting nearer,by now the straps of the rucksack had started pulling me back,a gentle yet persistent trickle of sweat had started streaming down my back.The lungs were now straining to capture the scarce oxygen(The sikkim himalayas run out of vegetation at around 13000 ft).Slowly the mind started closing out the sounds of nature,soon it was only the sound of my tortured breathing,the scrape of the rucksack as it brushed the inner cliff and the sound of my shoes on the rocky surface.Oh damn,this is no age to be gallavanting along such mountains,and,I'm quitting fags this very moment,the agony of forcing my lungs to suck in the air was getting beyond me.
I stopped and leaned against a rocky out crop,I could see the summit another 45 mins max,I thought,then  my eyes focussed on the twisting last step ,the dreaded 36 mor, oh god no..I can't do this..I was already packing 30 kgs,the guide had been right when he had gently discouraged me for trying to do it alone..the words  "don't be a gama in the land of the lama" reverberated through my mind,I should turn back,the track leading in the opposite direction had never looked so inviting.. yet   a little ass whispered..Haar gaya!! you lost bugger!!

Taking a deep breath I turned my face towards the twisting track leading steeply uphill towards the summit and planted my foot forward.The next 30 mins passed in a haze of agony,..lungs bursting,calves screaming and shoulders crying aloud.The rucksack took on a life of its own,it seemed determined to pull me back or perversly making me wobble toward the open side of the track below which around 1000ft down swept the tempestuos chumtha,strong and untamed.

My eyes open yet unseeing ,focussed on to the ground just 6 inches away from my toes I plodded on.I distinctly remember a drop of sweat flow down across the temples,welling over my eyebrows,hesitate and the plunge down to the tip of my nose and then fall shining in the sunlight to vanish in the grey gravel soundlessly..and suddenly there was no more mountain left...17000 ft..alone ... wow I'd made it, the relief ,the sheer joy and exhiliration and yes a sense of pride..victory !! 
Victory..over the mountain? No man..no one wins against the mountain..you only win against yourself..thats what climbing is about..winning and perhaps character building ..or .. just for fun..so go.. climb your mountain